TGIT - Man-Love Thursday's

When I first arrived in BAF (Bagram Airfield) I kept on hearing talk of "Man-Love Thursdays." I wasn't sure if this was a real day that the Pashtun men celebrated or just an unsubstantiated rumor. After doing some research on the interwebs, it appears that Man-Love Thursday is indeed a reality.

Basically, before the Muslim holy day (Friday) the men are free to pleasure themselves with other men. Like myself, I'm sure you are wondering how they reconcile their actions with their religious teachings. Pashtun men interpret the Islamic prohibition on homosexuality to mean they cannot "love" another man -- but that doesn't mean they can't use men for "sexual gratification."

Mahmoud: "Listen Mohammad, Thursdays have been great. You really know how to pleasure a guy, it's just that, well, you're starting to turn this into something that it's not.

Mohammad: But...my love...

Mahmoud: Dammit, Mohammad! I'm Serious! Remember, we only do this on Thursdays, otherwise, the other guys in the village are gonna start to ask questions and think we're gay. And if that happens they're literally gonna have our heads on a stick. Remember what happened to Omar? Let's keep things casual.

Mohammad: If I can only have you Thursdays, so be it. Every day I will wait for you. No other man may have me.

This really opens up a sequel to Brokeback Mountain. They'll probably end up casting Jake Gyllenhaal for the part of Mohammad. He obviously knows how to play the part of a Persian as evidenced by his latest movie.

These guys think that they have outsmarted Allah, their omnipotent, omnipresent, all-powerful man in the sky with a loophole! Thank Allah for loopholes! All holes, really, especially the male ones. They don't think their non-love-making labels them homosexuals. I'd be happy to let them live with their denial and hypocrisy if it wasn't for the fact that they are using their interpretations of their holy book to molest children. Don't be surprised. Religion and child rape are like peas and carrots.

There's a saying here in Afghanistan:: "Women are for children, boys are for pleasure."

WTF.

Happy Man-Love Thursday.

Note: When I googled "homosexuality" and "Afghanistan" all I got were hits about the repeal of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell." The only site that had any insight on Afghan sexuality was on the Fox News site, so don't hate. Here it is. It's actually a pretty interesting piece.

-Danny