A couple days ago I had to go out in the field to collect some data. Having spent the majority of the day outside, I was left to the mercy of the elements - wind, earth, and even rain. If only I were affected by fire and heart, I could have summoned Captain Planet.
Anyways, these earthly elements entered my ocular cavity which caused me to develop a swollen and pinkish eye. My coworkers assumed it was ass eye which is street slang for conjunctivitis - pink eye. It's amazing how these suspicions turn people into Lepers. I was immediately cast away for fear I would infect the entire office. I hoped they were wrong.
The next day I examined my eye and to my surprise - no pink, no crust, no problem. I guess the wind will continue to blow around all this pollen and dirt, worsening my allergy situation. The wind has been so strong that when I was in the porta john earlier, I became increasingly worried that it may tip over, leaving me to swim in a sea of human excrement.
Now, that's how you get pink eye, among other things.
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